3 posts tagged “tenrikyo”
Japan is great! I'm having lots of fun and learning a lot. Made many new and wonderful friends. I feel like I am the real me here. Hopefully I can bring this "me" back home at the end of this month. Today is a day off. phew. I so needed it. Everyday is early: 5 a.m.! Alarm goes off at 3:50 a.m.! I'm getting use to it.
It's raining today. But at least it's not super hot yet. Tenri (the city where I am) is famous for its hot, humid, muggy weather.
Sometimes I feel like my Japanese is so inadequate. It can get stressful. Speaking is ok, reading and esp writing in Japanese causes me to go bonkers. I had a little breakdown yesterday but it's all for the good.
I feel like my English isn't so great either. And I want to be an English teacher, ESL that is. I've been told that I have an accent when I speak English. Well great.
I want to stay here yet I feel that I should go back. Well, after I earn my degree, I'll be free to go anywhere. I'd love to work in Japan and make tons of $$$$$$! I really do like it here. Maybe because it's Tenri. Almost everyone is so nice here. It's probably like any other place outside of Tenri. I will probably find out soon enough.
Take care!
Just when you thought things were relatively peaceful in the United States, besides the conflict about Iraq among other things, this has to happen. I found out last night but it didn't really register until I turned on the tv this morning. horrifying. how could this happen? My first reaction to seeing the shooter's picture was the racial retaliation that is bound to come up later on. It's really not fair. The news media kept emphasizing that he is from S. Korea and that he was a "loner." Why? Why? Why? When I hear of this kind of tragedy, I always wonder what did God intend? Why did this happen? And then I think that amidst the chaos of the muddy ocean, in the Truth of Origin, the story of the beginning if the world and humankind in Tenrikyo, God the Parent created human beings and the world for us to live a Joyous Life and to share in that joy. So God just wants us to be happy but why do we keep on creating chaos for ourselves? It does not make sense. We are taught that every experience, whether positive or negative is for our own spiritual maturity, to be better, well-rounded people, but why this terribleness? I don't understand. I pray for all the lives lost, their families, and the community. It affects all of us.
It's December already. Time is flying!!! I've been busy the last few days trying to format and edit the Tenrikyo newsletter. It's finally done and printing is probably in progress as I speak. whew.
I've also been trying to find a temporary part-time job and I went for two interviews already but no juice. i'm pretty disappointed. it's like God is telling me something but I refuse to answer. I'm working for God now and I keep getting the feeling that God doesn't want me to do anything else but what I'm doing now. It's frustrating. I guess I'm chasing the carrot attached to my head that's dangling right in front of my eyes out of reach. I'm quitting next June but I get the feeling that no matter how hard I try, I won't get to work outside of my church until I'm done. But I'll never be "done." I still want to help the library, where I'm working now, and be involved as I am now, in different committees and such. I know I can make a difference. But I also think it's important to venture out and experience the world and what Tenrikyo can offer the world. What I can offer the world. But I guess it's just not my time now. But I refuse to totally give up. Interviews are lessons too. It's interesting what they ask you, although they pretty much overlap. First impressions can make or break you, so dress to impress! But also it's important to be myself and be the best I can be in that 15 minute interview. I can also bring that into my own life and my work and maintain that mindset. No matter whom I meet, it's like a job interview.
Things are happening in my life right now that I thought would be lost to me and wouldn't happen for a long time. I've met a wonderful man and he's totally into me and treats me like how I've always wanted to be treated, with respect, love, and affection. I thought I liked another man, who is far away, probably in mind as well as body, and I thought we were getting closer. Then this other guy shows up and I'm totally confused. I didn't know what I want. I'm still not sure but I can feel myself drawing closer to him more and more. How can you be sure? Is it a feeling? Is it how you feel or how he makes you feel? Is it the connection? I think it's all of those things and so much more. A friend told me once that to be with someone that wants to be with you makes a huge difference. It's almost effortless because you both want to be with each other. Almost all of my adult life, in relationships, I felt like I had to do so much, give so much, put in the effort to make the relationship work. But it doesn't have to be that way. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A CERTAIN WAY. IT CAN BE HOWEVER I WANT IT TO BE. I CAN HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED! See, I never knew this. I knew it but refused to believe it because I wasn't believing in myself. That I am beautiful inside and out and I am worthy of a man that will be there and love me as I am. It's amazing. I'm just so taken aback. I'm in awe. From my last relationship I realized that I WILL ALWAYS KEEP MY SELF-WORTH, DIGNITY, AND INTEGRITY and will never let ANYBODY treat me that way again or make me feel so low, so cheap, so unworthy of love. Now that the opportunity to have the balance, wonderful, real relationship has risen, I'm honestly scared. I'm terrified! I'm not ready to be happy! I'm so use to being unhappy or unsatisfied. That that is the way it is. BUT IT'S NOT! ha! It's marvelous! It has the potential to be a genuine partnership. scary. but my dream is to get married and have a family so I have to start somewhere!! And here it is! oh gosh. I don't know what to do with myself. A friend told me last night to just ENJOY IT! And I am. but it's still scary. I should tell him how I'm feeling. whew.
Well, things happen or don't happen because they are meant to be that way, so this must be meant to be too! I shouldn't fight the current when it's flowing so fast. I should go with it, flow with it, hang on for the ride of my life!
